Monday, August 24, 2009

Get real, Urban Outfitters

Urban Outfitters, there are so many things wrong with you. You’re owned by a right wing nut, you own most of the “brands” you sell at the store, you steal designs, and you rip off millions of people across the country with your overpriced bullshit.

Usually, I ignore you like the awful hipster girls I used to work with in New York that bragged about doing tons of coke at art parties while comparing about their bowl haircuts- because like them, you’re obnoxious. But this, I cannot ignore:

Urban Outfitters, how dare you sell Macrame Owls for $32 a piece to your brainwashed masses!? How dare you attempt to sell something that someone wouldn’t be caught dead picking out of a free bin at a yard sale?! How dare you be so cocky and pretentious you straight up decide to sell the single ugliest thing to come out of the 1970’s?

I guess because you can.

It’s brilliant, really. I’m just pissed I didn’t think of it first. Real pissed.

I’ll be okay for now, but the minute these irony loving assholes that shop at your store start having babies, it’s all over. I don’t want to think of what the world will become. I just keep imagining babies with mullets listening to Peter Bjorn and John. Yuck.

Comments

Evan @ Monday, August 24, 2009:

But of course on the hipster index it's totally "deck".

Travis Volk @ Saturday, November 21, 2009:

And two people felt it was necessary to write a review about the product. That's worse.

Add a comment